Returning to missions

On January 12, 2010, at 4:53 in the afternoon, an earthquake measuring 7.0 on the richter scale hit the small country of Haiti. In the days following, an additional 33 aftershocks measuring from 4.2 and 5.9 were recorded. Over 300,00 people perished as a result of that. Millions more Haitians were affected as homes were destroyed and lives forever changed. Little did I know, at that time, that those events would change me, too. Shortly after, I felt lead to head down to Haiti and offer my assistance. I went down and made my way to Jacmel, on the southern coast of the island. It was a place I had visited previously, but this time would be different. I spent 3 months there helping clear rubble (they don”t have a lot of heavy machinery…we broke concrete up by hand), building homes, a school, and a church. I assisted medical clinics, played with kids, and generally did everything I could to help bring some normalcy back to the country, in whatever way I could. And something happened that I never expected. I fell in love with them. It became a second home to me. The people in that community became my family. I even learned to speak a little Creole (I can tell them I’m hungry….) Those 3 months changed me in ways I’m not sure I can ever fully explain. I have always known since that I would eventually move to doing that full time. It just felt natural.

That time is now. After months of deliberation, discussion, and prayer, I will be moving into full time missions with Conduit Mission, the same group I went to Haiti with 2 years ago. Through them, I will work not only in Haiti, but Gbentchal, Togo, Africa, as well, along with any other place that might need help. Conduit is a 501(c)3 non profit based in Middle Tennessee. Not only do they work in Haiti and Africa, they also work with Place of Hope, a Christ-centered drug and alcohol rehab facility in middle Tennessee. In addition, when disaster strikes (such as the tornados in Alabama and Joplin, MO), Conduit has sprung into action delivering financial support and supplies. I will be providing support in any of those areas deemed necessary. I will go with supplies, assist in the upkeep at Place of Hope, and do anything else that needs to be done. This is a project I am very excited about. My spiritual gift is acts of service, and it’s such an incredibly natural fit for me.

So, where do you come in? Well, first and foremost, as I will be traveling and working in less-than-ideal situations, I ask for prayer. Secondly, there is a financial side to it. I need to raise the support to be able to do this. My monthly financial needs are approaching $2500, once you include the costs of the flights, visas, etc. I would request each of you prayerfully consider a monthly support over the next year. Each gift is tax deductible through Conduit Mission. I will have a link available to donate soon (if you’re reading this on WordPress, don’t use the current link…not the right one. Thank-you to each of you for reading this. God bless!

A Letter to Dad

Dad:

Today is Father’s Day.  I wanted to take the opportunity to put fingers to keyboard and share with you everything you’ve meant to me over these 31+ years.  I certainly wouldn’t be the man I am today without your influence.  From the day I was born (I assume….the first 3 years of my life are a little fuzzy…but Mom says it’s true, so I will assume it is) you’ve loved me.  There have been plenty of times I times I surely didn’t deserve it.  I know I tried your patience at times.  But no matter who bad things got, you were still there.  I’ll never forget that.  You did a lot of things that dads should do.  You came to little league games and Boy Scout events.  As I got older that turned into high school basketball.  I don’t think, in 4 years, you missed a home game and made a good bit of road games, too.  You taught me how to drive (that may be responsible for a good chunk of they gray hairs you have…)…  Heck, you even helped start a Scout Troop until I was able to find one that was a better fit.  The Eagle award wouldn’t have been possible without you.  As I got older, the dynamic of our relationship changed.  We got closer as we got older.  I now get to look at you as a friend.  I am entirely blessed to have you as a friend.  I genuinely enjoy spending time with you.  Wether we are going to a ball game or a concert or hockey, I am always excited to get to do that stuff with you.  I won’t soon forget singing “Hey Jude” poorly with 17,000 other people at Paul McCartney nor celebrating the Preds series-ending win against Anaheim this year.  You have supported me so much in my life.  You were there when Chrissy left.  Heck, it affected the business and you never admonished me for that.  Just loved me through it.  Even tough love when necessary.  But I wouldn’t have made it through without you.  For everything you’ve been to me over the years, I want to thank you .  I love you and am proud to be your son.

The 100 thing challenge

I have been reading a lot lately about breaking the cycle of consumerism. There are a lot of great websites out there devoted to this (and yet, you’re reading mine. Not sure why…). One that really inspired me was a website called www.guynameddave.com. He came up with a crazy concept a couple years ago called the 100 thing challenge. Getting fed up with the sheer amount of stuff invading his life he elected to simplify and get down to 100 personal belongings. He wrote a book about it, titled, appropriately, the 100 Thing Challenge. Bonus points for creativity, right? Anyway, the premise of this was that he sold off belongings and got down to under 100 personal belongings. He committed to living that way for a year. Simplicity at it’s finest. So I got to thinking about how much stuff I owned and decided to count. Thus begun my own 100 thing challenge. Of course, the amount you own is truly irrelevant. The goal is just to not have excess in your life. For everything to have a purpose. Here is the list of everything I own:

1. 15″ MacBook Pro. This computer has been a rock for me. I bought it in June 2007. I have traveled the country with it. It survived 3 months in Haiti. It keeps ticking. I have made some upgrades to it, namely bigger hard drive and more memory. It’s served me well. Of course, every computer needs some accessories, so….
2. Rain M-Stand. Keeps the computer at a better eye height when used at a desk.
3. Apple aluminum wired keyboard. When working at a desk, this is invaluable. I like having the number pad, too.
4. Logitech mouse/Iowa Hawkeye mousepad. I love this mouse. It’s wireless, ergonomic, programmable. The mousepad works with it. Duh. Some of you may consider this cheating, but I am grouping a few things together for the purpose of the list. I never use the mouse without the mousepad and vice-versa. Plus, it’s my list, so there…
5. Iomega MiniMax 750 gb. Combination back-up had drive and USB/FireWire hub. You need a back up hard drive. Hubs are necessary when using a laptop. I’ve had this for about 4 years, and bought it used. Never has it failed me.
6. WD 500 gb hard drive. This one is specifically for my iTunes folder. I have over 12,000 songs. I have 150 movies. All are digital and stored on here. Enabled me to sell every cd and dvd i own. The internal 500 gb on my computer just didn’t cut it.
7. Incase backpack. Fuzzy lined to protect the aforementioned MBP. Plenty of pockets for anything I need to carry.
8. Miscellaneous cables for the computer. USB. FireWire. 1/8″ audio cable. All necessary. I used to have a ton of cables. Cables for anything you could imagine. I got rid of those last year. Gave them to Bucky, with a few to my dad. Bucky is one of the few people I know who would appreciate a drawer full of cables.
9. Lamp. I like this lamp. It sits at my “desk”. It looks a little like the Pixar lamp. I got this from a former co-worker at AmMed.
10. 32 GB iPhone 4 with Otter Box case. Got this recently. Replaced a 3GS. As far as minimalism tools go, the iPhone is incredible. Phone. iPod. It’s the only camera I own (not that I take a lot of pictures). I keep track of my checking account on it. It keeps me connected. Sometimes too much. I actually just turned off all notifications on it to prevent me from checking every time it buzzes at me. It’s actually been kind of freeing. I only check emails and Words with Friends once an hour or so. Incan focus on other things in the interim.
11. ZaggBuds headphones. Because the apple ones suck.
12. 32 GB 3G iPad with Speck case. Typing this blog post on it. Actually doing it in Pages and will transfer to the blog when done. At first I dismissed this as just a big iPod touch. But I started playing with one that a friend owned. They’re fantastic. This will actually replace the MBP for a lot of travel. In fact, when the MBP gets replaced, it will be with an iMac. And I swore I would never buy a desktop computer again. The iPad is that awesome. Oh, and big freaking GPS, FTW.
13. Apple wireless keyboard. I got this for use with the iPad. I don’t use it as much as I thought I would. I may actually get rid of this.
14. Tools. Grouping these together, too. There’s no way I am going to go through and categorize every flipping wrench, socket and screwdriver. These all work together for a common good.
15. 1995 Jeep Grand Cherokee Orvis. Paid cash for it. I haven’t paid cash for a car since my first one. And actually, paid the same for this as my first car. This is the primary thing my tools seem to get used for.
16. Books. Grouping these together. I have quite a few books. Have pared some down and will likely pare some more down. Also trying ebooks. Wasn’t sure if I’d like them. But the first couple I have tried haven’t been that bad. Perhaps….
17. Swiss Army Knife. Considered this might be a part of the tools. But seeing as I carry it every day, I am giving it it’s own spot on the list. I have owned this knife since high school as a boy scout.
18. Underwear. Yes, 1 item for the group. I want to keep the list under 100 so I can’t count each pair. Nor can I just eliminate them. I like the support.
19. Socks. I have white socks, brown socks, and black. Covers everything I might need. Can’t stand not wearing socks with shoes. These are as necessary as item 17.
20. Black dressy shoes
21. Brown dressy shoes. I like both of these pairs of shoes. They are multi-purpose. Not so dressed up I can’t wear them with nice jeans but still suit apropos. Leather with leather soles. Built to last.
22. Converse Chuck Taylor All Stars. Black. The classics. Enough said.
23. Nike tennis shoes. For when I actually work out. I really need to get better at that…
24. Work boots. Egads. I may lose some man cred by having 5 pairs of shoes. They all serve a purpose, though. As much as I’d like to get rid of a pair, I really don’t think I could.
25. Dark jeans
26. Light jeans
27. Medium jeans. I may be able to cut a pair here. Especially because I own…
28. Dockers light brown
29. Dockers dark brown
30. Brown belt
31. Black belt. Must match belt to shoes. Neither belt is too wide or too thin. Works with jeans and dressier pants.
32. Black polo
33. Black button down
34. Black button down with purple stripes
35. Black button down with white stripes. This is a candidate for downsizing.
36. Green button down shirt
37. Silver button down shirt (no, it does not look like it belongs in a Night at the Roxbury skit)
38. Brown casual button down shirt
39. White button down dress shirt
40. Purple button down shirt
41. White with blue stripes casual button down shirt. May get rid of this.
42. Blue button down shirt. Another one I may end up getting rid of.
43. Undershirts. Have a couple white, a couple black and a couple gray. Like other under garments, this is lumped into one entry
44. Green polo. May get rid of.
45. Orange polo.
46. Charcoal Iowa t-shirt
47. Charcoal Africa t-shirt
48. Danville basketball t-shirt
49. Yellow Predators t-shirt
50. Restore Haiti t-shirt
51. Rolling Stones t-shirt (may get rid of)
52. Gray Iowa t-shirt (for working in)
53. Yellow Preds shirt (for working in)
54. Police tour t-shirt
55. Work jeans
56. Work jeans. The clothes for working in are the ones that I don’t care if they get stained. Most of them are. Dirt. Engine grease. They’re the grubby clothes. Still, I can likely get rid of 1 pair of these jeans.
57. Black Nike mesh shorts
58. Green striped tie
59. Light gray striped tie
60. Black striped tie
61. Watch
62. Swim trunks/beach towel.
63. Cot. I will be sleeping on this in TN.
64. 2 pillows
65, Sleeping bag
66. “back pillow”. For sitting up in bed and retaining better posture. This is the most likely thing I own to be gotten rid of. I won’t be needing this. I do not imagine sitting up on the cot to do anything
67. Royals cap
68. Police signed Synchronicity vinyl
69. Paul McCartney Nashville set list
70. Eagle Scout medal
71. Preds hoodie
72. Preds jersey. Should I even count this? It’s been on fairly permanent loan to Shannon Johnson.
73. Black leather jacket
74.Charcoal pinstripe suit
75. Tuxedo
76. Black dress pants. Haven’t worn these in quite a while. Will likely get rid of
77. Gray pinstripe suit jacket. I haven’t worn this yet. I like it a lot and got it from my grandpa when he passed. Practically speaking, I should get rid of it. I don’t know if I can yet
78. 14″ Remo djembe with case
79. Shakers
80. Miscellaneous drumsticks and stick bag
81. Ludwig Black Beauty snare
82. Baseball glove
83. Umbrella
84. Razor and brush set
85. Comb (yes, I own one, even though my hair is short)
86. Saddleback Leather Wallet
87. Big duffle
88. Small duffle. Will likely get rid of one of these
89. Saddleback Leather Dopp kit (toiletry bag)
90. Flashlight
91. Zippo lighter
92. Nose hair trimmer (the joys of getting older)

There we are. My life, in 92 items. And a few of these are going to be going by the wayside. Also, you may notice that deodorant, toothpaste, etc was not on the list. Not counting consumables. Razor makes the list. Razor blades do not. These are not things you buy to keep. They are designed to be used. It’s been interesting compiling the list. When things are up there in black and white you truly take stock on whether you need it or not. If I was ruthless I could cut 20 things. I think the only thing I might buy in the next year is a camper to live in. The last year and a half for me has been an amazing time of transformation moving out of the so-called American dream and into something more for God’s glory. I appreciate each of you reading this for joining me on this journey.

On the Road Again (or, Why I’ll likely stay single)

It’s 630 miles from where I currently live in Mechanicsville, VA to where my parents live in Franklin, TN. When people find that out, and the fact that I drive it, they seem shocked. Why don’t I fly, they ask? They don’t understand why I would want to spend 10 hours in my jeep. Well, aside from the fact that I then have to figure out how to get around once I am back in TN, I like to drive. Driving, to me, is extremely peaceful. I get in the jeep, plug my iPhone into the stereo, and just go. I get to spend some time with God driving through the beautiful Smokies, seeing some of His incredible creation around every bend, and listening to my favorite music.

I am comfortable on the road. It’s my home. I’ve always had a bit of wanderlust. I suppose that’s one of the reasons I liked working in music so much. I loved showing up at bus call and heading off to new places. There’s so much to see across this country and I consider it a blessing for how much I have seen. But I want to see more. I read a quote once that is absolutely true. The best places on earth show up as blank spots on maps. As much as I love cities, like Chicago, KC, and, of course, Nashville, I’m a country boy at heart. I grew up in rural Iowa. I’m proud of where I grew up. It made me who I am today.

I love adventure. I don’t care for playing it safe. Some of you may find that surprising but it’s true. I have always loved hiking and camping. 3 months in Haiti was incredible. I would love to go to Africa and Europe. More than that, though, I would love to see the rest of the country. For a long time, I thought I would like to build myself a house. I wanted to build instead of buy just because I could. But I think I’d much rather rehab an old camper and just hit the road. I think I have the skills to do that. I’m pretty handy on a car. And I have enough skills to pick up work wherever I find. Of course I definitely want to get back to Haiti on a semi-regular basis. I think this is a feasible plan, too. I know, it’s not the “normal” thing to do. But who wants to be normal? I’ve done normal. Heck, I am doing normal now. I work for a fortune 100 company. Good job. Decent salary. And if I played the game I can have a good career for the next 35 years, retire with a nice pension and then play (mini) golf until I die. And that sounds absolutely miserable. I want to see the sunset on the plains of Texas. I want to see the blue ocean in California. I want to see the world from the top of the Rockies.

Of course, the downside to that is how many girls out there want to do that? That doesn’t exactly scream stability to them. Plus, inviting them to my house and seeing an old Airstream (the dream would be to own one of those…), just screams “serial killer,” I’m sure. But I’m ok with that, too. I have felt for a while that maybe I’m done. I am extremely thankful for the 2.5 years I was married. It was, mostly, great, and I have a lot of fond memories. If I am meant to be single from here on out, that’s fine. Of course, if there are women out there who think about life differently and want to see the world, I’d love to hear from them…

Ok, I’m going to leave you with the chorus to my current favorite road trip song. Every time I go anywhere, I listen to this song 2-3 times. It’s “The Road and the Radio,” by Kenny Chesney:

Clarity and inspiration
Happiness is a destination, that’s hard to find
It may take some time
In my mind there’s something more
And I’ll open up a brand new door
And find the strength to close the ones I’ve left behind
I’ll get there leaning on some friends I know
The road and the radio

So true. Kenny’s a smart dude.

A confession

I am going to be honest with you here. I have failed recently. I have been feeling restless and I know why. I have been slipping up a lot. Not doing what I should be doing. And God is taking my to task for it. And honestly, I am getting to a point where I am tired of it myself. Before you feel I am going to get all pentecostal on you and tell you that I can ask and receive and be done with it, that isn’t how it’s going to work. I simply need to make choices. And make them again and again until those right choices become a habit. I need to eat better. I eat horribly. In high school I could eat what I want because my metabolism was fantastic. Unfortunately, it quit on me a long time ago. I woke up one day (I believe it was a Thursday…I could never quite get the hang of Thursdays) and realized my metabolism had given up and I was suddenly 40 pounds heavier. That should have been a wake up cal, but who wants to change? I also need to exercise more. I went to the doctor yesterday. I was told I was generally healthy. Weighed in at 224 lbs. And seeing as 2 years ago, I was pushing 300, this should be happy news. But when i came back from Haiti, I was 191. So I have but back on 23 lbs in the last 10 months. It’s easy to see why I lost the weight there. My diet consisted of mainly beans, rice, chicken, fruit and some fish. With the occasional goat, or beef thrown in for variety. Plus I worked constantly. With my job now, I am sedentary for 45+ hours per week, and humans aren’t designed to be that way.

So these choices are going to be made. It isn’t going to be easy. I realize that. I am going to start eating better. Going to look into a better diet. I need to start working out daily. Even though I am sure it will kill me, I am going to look into the P90X (does anyone out there have a set they aren’t using?) I’ve had friends who have done it and said they’ve never been in better shape. Plus it doesn’t involve running, which I megaloathe. But the changes are going to be internal as well. I need to pray more. Read my Bible more. I need to finally deal with some of the same stuff i have been dealing with for years. I deal with the one sin that a lot of men have dealt with, the sin of lust. I feel ashamed even typing that, but I do want to be honest here. My struggle with that comes and goes, but I’m frankly sick of myself. So it’s time to be done with it once and for all.

I am 31 years old now. I was back in Nashville this past weekend, and at the one year annibirthary of Conduit (Darren couldn’t decide if it was the first birthday or one year anniversary, so it was combined) Darren made mention that he and I have discussed the goal of me heading back to Haiti long term. And while I know one of the things that has to be done is I need to get myself out of debt. The other side of that is I need to take the opportunity ti prepare myself for ministry. I need to put myself in a position where I can be as useful to God as possible. Now I know He doesn’t need me. He will accomplish His purpose with or without me, but if I feel like I am supposed to be a part of that plan, I need to be ready. No more excuses. And maybe by sharing this with all of you, everyone can keep me accountable

Love Wins

Let me preface this post by saying what many of you already know. I have not read Rob Bell’s new book “Love Wins.” But this is blogging. We don’t have to have all the facts to make a judgement. And it’s such a big story that even CNN is covering it. So I did what every other blogger has done it. Watched the 2 minute 58 second promo on YouTube. The general attack on Rob is that he is preaching a message that borders on universalism. The general concept that you only have to be good to get into Heaven. That there are many paths to God. Pick one that works for you. Or as the great Bill S Preston, Esq said, “Be excellent.” Anyway, as I mentioned, I watched the video. While he is, as per his usual m.o. being provocative (he is, of course, the same pastor who wrote a book called “Sex God”), I don’t see universalism being taught. He is not saying Gandhi is in Heaven. He said that we don’t know for sure. And this is true. Now, I want to be clear about something. I believe what Jesus said when he said he was the way, the truth and the life and no one goes to the Father except through Him. So in that respect I believe that it’s not likely Gandhi is there. Though I personally don’t know if he had a late life conversion. Rather, what I got out of the video is this: we as Christians do a fantastic job of saving people by “scaring the Hell out of them.” We quote John 3:16 but don’t focus on the part that says He so loved the world. Jesus was sent to save a sinning world because GOD LOVES US! Love is the central message of the Bible. That’s the good news of the gospel. One of my favorite moments from Jesus is his interaction with the thief on the cross. That thief, on the brink of death, looked at Jesus and said I screwed up my life. I’m sorry. Can you forgive me? And our Savior, in His infinite love, looked at that thief and says “Today you will go with me to paradise.”. Not because it’s another number. They aren’t keeping score in Heaven. But because Jesus knows a heart. Jesus, and by extension, God, loves each and every one of us so much that even people who don’t get that until the eleventh hour still are welcomed. Of course, that doesn’t put butts in the seats on Sunday mornings so we need to save them young. And I certainly agree that life is better being lived with the knowledge of who Jesus is and what He did for me (that’s comforting. Jesus died for me, personally. And you, too.) But he did it out of love. Rob makes a great point. Jesus did not come to save us from God. He came to bring us to God. Hell is a place so bad, God does not, nor can he, exist there. God does not send us to Hell. We live in a fallen world We are already going there. Jesus came to rescue us from that. Out of God’s love. Pastors, you want butts in the seats on Sunday mornings? Love people. Love the homeless. Love the drunk. Love the gay people. The only way you can save them is through love. Do away with your basketball arena-sized facilities. Your programs that feed into programs. Love people. My good friend and Pastor, Darren Tyler said this about the feeding program we have in Haiti. It’s easier to listen to the gospel on a full stomach. Heck the Bible even preaches that. Jesus fed 5000 men fish sandwiches before he preached. Hunger is an all consuming feeling. You cannot focus when you have not ate. Remember that God is about love. You have to meet the people where they are and we all need love. Even Rob Bell. Even you and me.

One year ago today…

One year ago today, the island of Haiti was rocked by a 7.0M earthquake rocked the country of Haiti, the worst there in nearly 160 years.  No one was prepared for it and the results were catastrophic.  Homes there are built to withstand hurricanes, not earthquakes and many of them fell.  250,000 people lost their lives.  Nearly 300,000 more were injured.  The infrastructure of the country was so bad that getting aid to remote areas was difficult, to say the least.  In short, a country that was already the poorest in the Western Hemisphere became even more so.

Immediately, aid started pouring in.  As Americans, we did what we do.  We had telethons.  We gave money to the Red Cross.  And that is all extremely important.  Rescue workers went down.  Former Presidents Bush and Clinton went.  Anderson Cooper went.  Madonna’s ex lived there for almost 6 months.  A bunch of nobodies went down to help (myself included).  A lot of good was done, no doubt about it.

However, a year later, the help is drying up.  We live in a world where it’s the next big thing that we focus on.  The US still has wars going on in two countries.  The economy still hasn’t recovered.  Health care.  The iPhone on Verizon.   There are a lot of things to divert our attention.  But I will spend this day, as I do every day, remembering that tiny country in the Caribbean.  Those are not just nameless faces I have seen on tv.  Those are my friends.  They are my family.  These are people I still keep in touch with.  And several of them still don’t have homes.  The news may have moved on, but these people have not.  Nor have I.  That’s why I am proud to be a partner with places like Conduit Mission and Restore Haiti.  For the last 6 years we have been supporting that country by making sure kids get to school, get fed, helping build homes, etc.   And we’re not done yet.  Conduit has the ambitious goal of building 40 houses in 2011.  I will be personally heading down at least once this year.  I would be honored if each of you who read this would help even a little.  To the right of this blog is a paypal button to donate to Conduit (facebook friends, you’ll need to go to the actual blog of benholeton.wordpress.com).  Any donations are tax deductible and go directly towards the work at hand.  Thanks so much, and God bless!

You may be right. I may be crazy.

Those of you who have known me for any length of time knows I am prone to, shall we say, obscure thoughts from time to time, so maybe this won’t be a total shock.  But this is definitely “out there,” even for me.  I have been thinking a lot lately about living homeless.  And not, “Boy would it suck to be homeless,” but more like “I should live in my car.”  Ludicrous, I know.  But hear me out.

My biggest goal in 2011 is to remove myself from debt.  Starting in 2012, I want to head back to Haiti on some sort of semi-permanent basis.  I want to help build homes, teach kids, do whatever I can.  I simply fell in love with that country while I was there.  So I also began thinking how I was going to pay the simple bills I might have while doing full time mission work.  I realized that my biggest expenses will likely always be housing.  It started off with a crazy idea of “what if I never had to pay rent?”  Of course, my next thought was immediately, “that’s stupid.  I have to live somewhere.”  But what if I didn’t? Millions of people throughout the world are homeless.  In Haiti, that’s a huge problem, what with the earthquake this year.  Imagine the witness of going down there and saying “not only am I her to help you build a home, but I also go without one.”  Now I realize I still would have it infinitely better than them.  I would be able to live in a car.  I still have a job.  I have the ability to take a shower every day and get food.  But it sends a powerful message, I think, nonetheless.  We in America talk about the homeless problem, but how many of us have ever spent time that way?  Not many.  Homeless people are someone else’s problem.  As long as they don’t come into our neighborhoods.   But it’s something I feel I want to understand.  Aside from Haiti, one of the other main ministries Conduit supports is Place of Hope.  Not only are they a drug and alcohol rehab center in Columbia, TN, but they also have a homeless ministry.  I want to be able to relate to them, even a little.  They say you can’t truly relate to someone unless you walk a mile in their shoes.  What if I spent a few months doing just that?

Now I will be the first to admit the reason I first thought about this was saving money.  I can pay bills down much faster cutting out that expense.  Once I get a vehicle, rent will be my biggest expense.  But think of where else I might save money.  I will save on gas.  I could “live” closer to work.  I wouldn’t have to worry about where I stay wherever I go.  Home would simply go with me.  The only expenses I would add is a Y membership (work out and shower daily) which, considering how much money I made last year, will run around $12/month) and a PO box, as I need somewhere to send my mail.  I can pay bills off and start saving for Haiti.  There will be things that I might need to get before I go.  I can have the money to do so.

Honestly, this might never come to pass.  I very well might chicken out.  Or listen the voices of reason of the few people I have been brave enough to share this with already.  I might honestly miss a bed.  I might miss the security of it.  But then again, if I truly want to live Gandhi’s words of “live simply so others might simply live,” what better way than to live as simply as I can?  What if I forgo some “creature comforts” in order to have more money to give?  And Jesus was homeless.  The ultimate couch surfer, he was.  What if I followed his example even more?  Now I am not Jesus.  Nor am I Gandhi.  But if I can do it, why not?  Why not put myself out there and do what I can to further His kingdom?  It’s just a thought.  But you may be right.  I may be crazy.  But it just might be a lunatic that you’re looking for.

A year remembered

So I start this post at 11:39 on December 7.  21 minutes until my 31st birthday.  I spent today remembering the last year.  I actually just went back and read what I wrote for turning thirty and had a funny moment.  I wrote at that time,

“I actually am looking forward to my thirties. I feel this is a time of a new beginning. Like God is going to do a lot for me (heck, he didn’t start Jesus’ ministry until he was 30…so if it’s good for Him, it ought to be good for me).”

Of course, I had no idea what that would entail.  I was fully expecting music ministry to be a part of it.  How could I know that a barely a month later, Haiti would have an earthquake that would change the lives of so many, myself included?  The job that I was excited about in December?  Ended. As usual, He knew more than me.  He needed me free to go and serve.  So serve I went.  I am not going to recap those months here.  i have written plenty about that and you can go back and read that if you please.  But I will say it was a three months that completely altered my reality.  ”Live simply so that others can simply live” was no longer a buzz phrase, if you will, but something I actually understood.  I saw abject poverty every day.  Yet I saw how happy these people were, despite circumstances.  It was freeing, to be honest.

Ok, I know.  I promised I wouldn’t recap.  This is actually a time I want to look ahead.  I’ve been remaking myself this past year and there are things I want to continue.  I want to get in better shape.  The geek in me has discovered there are, in fact, apps for that.  I can get in shape and not spend a ton of money.  As I am getting older (my friend Shannon says wiser….you be the judge) I am starting to realize I need to take better care of myself.  I know, brilliant, huh?  I started this last year somewhat but I am gonna kick it into high gear, i believe.  Which leads me to the second thing I am planning for year 31.  Discipline.  I am going to start getting up at a good time every morning, even if I feel it doesn’t matter, since I work the late shift.  I am also going to make my bed every morning.  Make sure I read my Bible every day.  The little things.  I am also starting a series I found online to help with that discipline.  It’s called 30 days to a better man.  Now, some days of those 30 won’t apply, for one reason or another, but I will attempt to substitute something on those days.  For example, one of their suggestions is to update your resume, because you never know when you might need it.  Well, I just did that about 2 weeks ago.  Because I did.  I also intend on blogging about what I do, so keep checking back here.  We’ll start tomorrow.

Ok, well, I think that will do it tonight.  I am going to bed so I can get up and start tomorrow.  Actually, exercise starts Thursday.  We don’t work out on the birthday.  Yes, I know.  My discipline needs discipline.  It should be a fun year.

 

Side note:  I get people that ask if I am going back to Haiti a lot.  Yes, I am going for a week spring 2011.  And hopefully a week in fall 2011.  But what I am really aiming towards is sometime in 2012 to be down there on a semi-permanent basis.  Maybe 2 months on, 2 months off.  Not 100% sure on that yet. But it’s definitely on my heart to do it.  I am working at getting out of debt so I have completely nominal expenses so I can do it.  Paying those debts off is part of the discipline. Prayers will be appreciated on this.  God bless!

Thoughts on David

The person I identify most with in the Bible is King David.  I think David is a fascinating study of the human condition and I can often relate to what he went through.  His psalms run the gamut from songs of adoration and unbridled love towards his cCreator, and words of pain that no bluesman can come close to matching.  When we first meet David, he is a shepherd almost forgotten by his own father.  I, too, have felt forgotten.  Often, I feel as if I’m an afterthought to a lot of people.  Like I’m someone that fades into the background.  I can only imagine the pain David would have felt if he would have heard Jesse say, “oh, yes.  I guess I do have another son.  He’s out tending the sheep.”  Recently, I have felt what it’s like to have God say He has something for me, but it’s not time.  (Tom Petty said it best, the waiting IS the hardest part.)  I have felt lost in the wilderness and know what it’s like to cry out to God.  When you feel the whole world is against me (though I didn’t have some king ready to kill me on sight.  I, too, know what lust can do to a heart and the shame that can be felt giving into temptation.  Now, I’ve never had anybody killed for a woman, but I can relate to the thought crossing my mind.  I wished harm on the man who my ex-wife left me for.  I know what it’s like to love deeply, weep for my friends, have another man be closer than a brother to me, slay a (in my case metaphorically) giant, and also what it means to run scared to the land of the enemy just to avoid potential hurt at home.

The thing that most impresses me about David is this.  He remained a man after God’s own heart.  Even when he screwed up, which was often, he repented and turned back towards his Creator.  And when God said something wasn’t for him, he made sure who it was for had everything that was needed to succeed.  I, too, strive for that .  I want to lead men.  I want to be someone that can be relied on.  I want to lead men into battle, whatever that might look like, and know that with God on our side, we will emerge victorious.  I want to be a King in His Kingdom.  I want Him to tell me, “Well done.”